Back again!

So I went back to the doctor today for my weekly "check up". I've lost another couple pounds and am down to 169.2! Woohoo!! I finally got below 170! Hopefully, in another couple (?3) weeks, I'll be writing how I'm below 160. Wouldn't that be great!?!?

My doctor is so great too. I told him I was dreaming of oatmeal cream pies and chinese buffets last night and he totally got it. He's so encouraging and really seems to know what I'm going through and how tough this has been. It's also nice not bingeing and purging all the time too.

I started a Boot Camp class at my gym and it has really kicked my ass. I didn't realize I was SO out of shape! I don't think I've EVER sweat that much - but it feels so good after I'm done. I think I'll be going back :)

So, only 34 pounds to the goal weight my doctor has set for me (135). I'd like to see that number by May. I think I can do it.

Wish me luck!!

It'll be bikini time before you know it!!

Update...

So, I went back to the Dr. and discovered that I am insulin resistant...I happen to create 3x the amount of insulin that I'm supposed to and my body's cells don't seem to really know how to use it! How crazy is that! This can cause weight gain, depression, hunger (in my case bingeing). How cool is that to know that I'm not insane! I was binge eating to satisfy the huge amount of insulin and then purging to make myself feel better! Holy crap - it all makes sense now...
When I went to the Dr. 1 week ago, I'm afraid to admit that I was up to 181.2. When I weighed this week.....are you ready.....170.8! In ONE week! I'm sure the pills and shots are helping with that but isn't this great! And I'm eating...NOT bingeing...even though I'd really like a cupcake...so therefore, no purging.
I haven't been exercising much, but he told me to take it easy with that for the first couple weeks.
I just can't believe that this is working! I would encourage anyone who may have the same problems I've had to check into the Insulin Resistance thing - It could save your life!!

A dose of reality

I have felt so down on myself for not being able to "stick" to any diet, eventually ending up bingeing and purging. I wondered why I didn't have the willpower to do it. I've been so jealous of the skinny girls who've been able to do it. Why couldn't I? What is wrong with me? Why am I so weak?

Well, I finally decided it was time to get some help.

I went to see my doctor yesterday. It was so scary. He weighed me. Took my measurements. Checked my blood work and vital signs. Told me I am insulin resistant. That's why I crave sweets and other carbs. He said I had wrecked my metabolism and if I kept down this path, I would end up gaining more weight and worse - diabetic.

He spent over 1 1/2 hours with me. I felt like someone cared and really wanted to see me do well and get better. He put me on a diet. And pills to help with cravings and burn fat. I have to report to him every week and keep a log of what I eat and how I feel when I eat. He told me to call him whenever I feel weak. I think God put him in my path to set me straight.

I will now keep a journal of my goings to the MD.

Today is Day 1. Wish me luck on a path to recovery!

Cheers to new friends!

So, I have a new friend who I'll be dieting with! I'm so excited, cause maybe THIS will keep me on track!
We even have close to the same starting stats, so that's a bonus. She's been doing ABC for a week now and has lost almost 7 lbs!
If I'm following her blog correctly - today is a 400 cal day. You can follow her too:
http://barbiebody.blogspot.com/

I hope I can be as successful as this! Wish me luck!!

Hmmm...

OK....What to do....

I have GOT to break this food addiction somehow.  I've got two theories: 1.  If I can just not eat for, I dunno, even just 1 or 2 days....maybe that would help? Or would it make me binge? and 2. What if I just eliminate all the high sugar/fat foods and stick with only healthy, low cal, low carb foods. If I can make myself stick to it for a week - do you think all the cravings would go away?
I've been reading about all the benefits of fasting in combination with a low carb diet and it's pretty interesting...
http://www.justinowings.com/b/index.php/me/a-low-carbohydrate-diet-mixed-with-inter
I think I might could do that...Anyone tried it before with any luck? There's just gotta be a way to break this dumb cycle I'm stuck in!

What am I going to do with myself?

I haven't posted in a little bit...mostly cause I think I just gave up. I can stick to a plan for no more than a couple days. I'm addicted to food. I can't seem to change that. Sorry it's so depressing...I know that's not fun to read. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself! If anyone out there has any hope for me - please fill me in.

I have been going to the gym just about every day. THAT I'm good at...I really like working out. Working out makes me hungry for some reason. So I eat. Cause I like food.

I could be eating something crappy...know that I shouldn't be eating it....tell myself to stop...and I just keep on eating. Then sometimes I purge. Sometimes I just say f*ck it. Am I destined to be a fat-a$$?

Any help?