A dose of reality

I have felt so down on myself for not being able to "stick" to any diet, eventually ending up bingeing and purging. I wondered why I didn't have the willpower to do it. I've been so jealous of the skinny girls who've been able to do it. Why couldn't I? What is wrong with me? Why am I so weak?

Well, I finally decided it was time to get some help.

I went to see my doctor yesterday. It was so scary. He weighed me. Took my measurements. Checked my blood work and vital signs. Told me I am insulin resistant. That's why I crave sweets and other carbs. He said I had wrecked my metabolism and if I kept down this path, I would end up gaining more weight and worse - diabetic.

He spent over 1 1/2 hours with me. I felt like someone cared and really wanted to see me do well and get better. He put me on a diet. And pills to help with cravings and burn fat. I have to report to him every week and keep a log of what I eat and how I feel when I eat. He told me to call him whenever I feel weak. I think God put him in my path to set me straight.

I will now keep a journal of my goings to the MD.

Today is Day 1. Wish me luck on a path to recovery!